Dealing with Setbacks in A Positive Way
No matter how hard you work on personal development, on positive thinking, and on how good you get at coming up with creative solutions to any problems and roadblocks you encounter, there will be a time when things simply don’t work out. Life isn’t all roses and sunshine. We all face difficult times and setbacks. How we deal with them is what sets us apart. In today’s post, I want to walk you through the process of dealing with setbacks in a positive way.
Forgive Yourself and Give Yourself A Break
When you are dealing with a setback, it’s important to forgive yourself. We’re all human. We make mistakes. We make the wrong choices. We don’t get as much done as we’d like. We miss our goals. It happens. Don’t let a small setback wipe out all the hard work you’ve done towards positive thinking. Don’t start beating yourself up. Instead, forgive yourself and move on.
If you have a hard time with forgiveness, just give yourself a break. Things happen and often they are out of your control. Another good way to look at it is to imagine if this had happened to someone you love. Would you forgive them? Then why aren’t you being just as kind to yourself?
Here are the 7 ways to forgive yourself:
Acknowledge your mistake.
If you make a mistake, admit it and learn from it. Free yourself from the burden, again, we are just humans. We are not perfect, remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. Admit it, learn from it, let it go and don’t repeat it.
Realize that the past is the past
We can’t undo the past, the past is done, those things happened and we should open ourselves up to acceptance. When we start accepting, that’s the start of healing, it’s the start of forgiving yourself.
Appreciate that you did the best you could at that time.
Maybe we didn’t do the best thing at that moment, maybe we acted out of survival, or maybe we weren’t able to choose the best option. Maybe we responded poorly at that moment, but whatever you did, cut yourself a break. If you learn from it, it was never in vain.
Turn the page.
At some point, you have to accept that the past has happened and you’ve done everything in your power to amend past mistakes. It’s now time to turn the page and accept those events as part of your story. They’ve all contributed to making you who you are. Being grateful for those experiences allows you to move on and truly forgive yourself.
Cut yourself some slack.
Cut yourself some slack while you’re on a new learning arc. Realize that you’re going to make mistakes. We all do.
Be clear on your morals and values
The reason most of us feel guilt or shame for actions done in the past is that those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. Our past wrongs can actually clue us into what we hold important. By identifying our morals and values, we start to get a clearer picture as to “why” we’re hurting over what we’ve done, or what others did to us.
The best thing you can do for yourself in order to forgive is to start replacing the negative behavior and thoughts with more appropriate ones that are agreeable with your morals and values. By so doing, you reiterate to yourself that you can handle situations in the way you want to. This can lead to a sense of pride, which is a huge part of building self-esteem.
Figure Out What Went Wrong
Next, it’s a good idea to give some thought to what went wrong. If you take the time to review and retrace your steps and figure out what happened, there’s a lot to be learned. Isn’t that a much more positive way to deal with mistakes and setbacks than giving up? I think so too.
Take the time to figure out what didn’t go right so you can do better next time. While you may not have an obvious answer every single time, I’m sure you can learn something from the experience. That in itself is a positive action. Of course, even when you do figure out what went wrong, there’s no guarantee you’ll get it right the next time. But if you never try again, you don’t know.
Come Back Better Than Ever
This brings us to the last step. When you know what went wrong, it’s easy to avoid making the same mistake again. Figure out what went wrong, put on your creative thinking cap to come up with a better solution, and try again. And again, and again. The point is don’t let setbacks stop you from reaching your goals. Don’t give up. Stay positive, get creative, and keep going until you make it work. That’s what sets truly successful people apart from everyone else
People spend time looking for a way around the problem, or wallowing in despair at the magnitude of the challenge, instead of facing it.
Pushing back the challenge doesn’t make it go away. This is true for big challenges, as well as for small ones. The most important thing is to face what’s in front of you with your head held high and with positivity.
How to Get Out of a Funk & Back to Your Positive, Sparkling Self
Every task seems like a bore. You’re getting half done in twice as much time as usual. You’re not getting thrilled about the task you usually enjoy. Every little inadequacy around you gets under your skin. Welcome to the annoying and confusing state known as funk. Basically, getting out of a funk can feel like crawling out of a hole when your arms and legs aren’t working.
So, here’s another quick actionable tip to help you stop those negative thoughts and focus on positive thinking instead. We get it; it’s not always easy. Sometimes you get into a funk, you’re having a bad day, or you’re just not feeling in the most chipper mood. It happens to all of us. Sometimes the sun is shining, and sometimes it rains.
Feeling a little down for a day isn’t a huge problem, but it also isn’t fun. It can put a damper on your positive and creative thinking. Stop wallowing in self-pity and let’s get you out of that funk and back to your positive, sparkling self. There’s a lot you can do to turn that frown upside down and lift your mood.
Give Us A Big Smile
The simplest and most effective thing you can do when you’re feeling down or are in a funk is to smile. Go ahead and fake it, but give us a big, huge smile. We promise after a minute or two of grinning like a fool you’ll start to feel better.
If you’re feeling adventurous, laugh out loud. Stay aware of your mood and your facial expression, and make it a point to smile more throughout the day. It won’t be long before you start to smile for real.
Physiologically speaking, the more you portray yourself as happy, the more you smile, the more your brain and body will believe that you are. It serves not just convince others that you are happy, but yourself as well.
Bright colors and light help a lot. Pick a pretty and colorful outfit. Go take a shower, wash your hair, and make yourself look good. Put on your favorite outfit, put on some lipstick, and fix your hair. Taking care of yourself and making yourself look good does a lot for your self-esteem. This, in turn, will greatly help with your mood.
Open the blinds, let in some light, or turn on a few lamps. Brighten and color the world around you. Get out some colorful throws and pillows. Go buy an inspirational poster or an image that speaks to you and puts you in a good mood and hang it up. Change the space around you and do what you can to have your surroundings inspire you to positivity and creativity.
Listen to Happy Music
Recent research found that forcing yourself to listen to happy music and consciously trying to become happier can actually lift your mood.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that some good, upbeat music is a great mood lifter. Create a positive playlist and crank up some tunes whenever you find yourself in a funk. Close the door and dance around for a few minutes for a quick mood fix.
Scents and sounds also influence our mood and thoughts. Put on some perfume or cologne that you enjoy; light your favorite scented candle, or bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Make your home or office smell good. If you can find a scent that you associate with a happy and positive memory, this works even better.
Release the Kraken!!! I mean the endorphins. It’s one of the simplest fixes to a bad mood.
Try New Things
Do something out of your usual routine. East something new, take a different route to work/school, try watching a new show to shake things up.
Remind Yourself How Far You’ve Come
When you’re in a funk, it can feel like nothing’s worthwhile because you’re not making any progress toward your goals. But once you remember how much progress you’ve already made; things will start to feel less dreary.
Always remember, funks are temporary. Even if you can’t get out of it now, you eventually will.