A Dozen+ Egg Quotes and Jokes for those who Love Eggs
Egg Puns and Such
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An eggoholic.
Favorite drink? Eggspresso.
Eggs leave Europe – Breggsit
Biggest eggs in the US – Teggsas
Someone who only eats eggs – veggan
Egg on his face – someone made a mess of things
Egghead – brainy person
What’s the worst day of the week for an egg? Fried day
Who built the first eggloo – a chicken or an egg? An Eggskimo.
Egg Quotes
If you’ve broken the eggs, you should make the omelette. Anthony Eden
It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs. Margaret Thatcher
Gentleness doesn’t get work done unless you happen to be a hen laying eggs. Coco Chanel
An egg today is better than a hen tomorrow. Benjamin Franklin
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. H. L. Mencken
Put all your eggs in one basket, and —watch the basket. Mark Twain
I like not to feel that all my eggs are in one basket, or I get nervous. Paloma Faith
I haven’t checked, but I highly suspect that chickens evolved from an egg-laying ancestor, which would mean that there were, in fact, eggs before there were chickens. Genius. Ta-Nehisi Coates
Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell. Cass Canfield
I think one of the things that saved me is that I never put all my eggs in one basket. Ricky Schroder
I’ve met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. Billy Wilder
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. Bernard Meltzer
Our nest eggs, no matter how small, are safe. Nick Clooney
My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs. Tim Conway
I feel like I’m walking on eggs and can’t take another step. Bill Buckner
A Few Silly or Stupid Egg Jokes
This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate the eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them. Gracie Allen
How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
Just one. After that your stomach won’t be empty.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk…
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.
Did you hear about the wizard who turned his friend into an egg?
He kept trying to poach his ideas.
How many eggs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Eggs don’t have hands.
What did one chicken say to the other when they walked through poison ivy?
You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours?
What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide and seek?
Fowl Play!
Why couldn’t the egg get good reception on her TV?
Because the channels were all scrambled!
What do you call an egg white with cowboy boots?
A western omelette!
How did the eggs leave the highway?
They went through the eggs-it.
An egg is always an adventure; the next one may be different. Oscar Wilde
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. Bernard Meltzer
All the goodness of a good egg cannot make up for the badness of a bad one. Charles A. Dana
We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken? S. Parkes Cadman
Love and eggs are best when they are fresh. Russian Proverb
We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken? S. Parkes Cadman
A Few Egg Expressions
“To put all your eggs in one basket” means to rely totally on one person or situation as your security.
To have a big “goose egg” means to have zero in your score or have a situation with absolutely no outcome.
To “walk on egg shells” means that you are having to deal with someone or a situation in a sensitive manner.
To have “scrambled eggs for brains” means to be a scatterbrain, can’t think straight or organize.
To be a “rotten egg” means you are disliked by a group because of some bad action you have done (i.e. lying, cheating, stealing)
To have a “nest egg” for retirement years means to have some money in your savings or a 401K plan.
To “egg someone on” means you keep pestering them, or emotionally pushing them to do something. In some cases it can mean to keep annoying someone in some way until they get mad. So, it can be a from of encouragement, teasing or actually annoying someone.
To have “egg on your face” is a very old saying.
It means to be embarrassed because you were caught doing or saying something in which you have no excuse or alibi to get your way out of it or blame it on someone else.
“To Lay An Egg” is also an expression meaning to do something that had a result of either being a total embarrassment to you or did not turn out how you meant it to be for someone else.
To be a “good egg” is to be a nice person.
Semi-Dirty Egg Jokes
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: “I don’t think I can get hard — I just got laid this morning!”
What word starts with “F” and ends with “UCK”? “firetruck”! What were you thinking?
What word starts with “P” and ends with “ORN”? “popcorn”! What were you thinking?!
Egg Poems
Here’s an unusual egg poem I found that you may be interested in. You’ll need to visit their site for the full poem.
Egg
by Aleš Šteger
When you kill it at the edge of the pan, you don’t notice
That the egg grows an eye in death.
It is so small, it doesn’t satisfy….
Click here to visit Egg on poets.org
What Is an Egg?
by Lucia Kemp Henry
What is an egg?
It’s a special place.
It’s warm and it’s safe.
It’s a cozy space.
What is an egg?
It’s a place…
Click here to continue What is an egg? on Science Net Links
If You Were An Egg
by Víctor Manuel Serna
If you were an egg,
I’d take the utmost care to not drop you,
And the only place I would break your shell,
Is at the bottom where I’d fit perfectly…
Click here to continue If you were an egg on Hello Poetry
There are several more poems about eggs there.
The Egg
by kanav justa
Covered with a shell, as white as snow
You wonder how will be the inside
a present for the men of earth
that under its shell hide
Break it and then you will see
yellow liquid like some molten gold
Click here to continue The Egg on Poem Hunter
